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Archives: 'Age and Verve'

Perfume Banned on Planes

BY SCOTT VANPALA — August 29, 2003 1:14 am

I was checking out Transportation Safety Administration’s (TSA) website for travel tips which has an interesting and comprehensive list of items NOT allowed on airplanes anymore. Ok, so i’ll have to leave my ‘box cutters’, ‘razor blades’ and ‘meat cleavers’ at home. That probably wont be a problem. But I cant bring my ’spear gun’? Nor my ‘realistic replica of firearms? That sucks because I often like to take my ‘realistic replica of firearms’ and pretend I am Aston Kutcher and shoot myself twice between the eyes.

Even if an item not on the list can be confiscated if they feel it might pose a threat. So you can forget about bringing your new Stella perfume by Yves Saint Laurent since last someone got theirs impounded because the bottle is shaped like a hand grenade. I mean no matter how fast you pull the applicator and no matter how far you lob it, it will still never blow up. However, it scares timid people and thats a safety issue. The only real threat I think is that everything will end up smelling like roses and wood.

Cola Wars: The Vanilla Bean Strikes Back

BY SCOTT VANPALA — August 8, 2003 2:08 am

Well today is the EVE of a momentus occasion. Yet another introduction of yet another soft drink. Yes, you guessed it..The success of Vanilla Coke has prompted the Pepsi Corporation to introduce a new flavor to strike a blow at their famed nemesis….So they have decided to make their own vanilla infused cola beverage. And what do the pepsi creative genius’ call it? Yup, it wasnt too hard to guess….Pepsi Vanilla!
So on this special day, I thought it would be a good idea to review not just the best ones, but also the worst one. I’m also taking the liberty to sample some of the more popular liver libations out there for those of you off the wagon.

Phat Brewskis and Dead Presidents

BY SCOTT VANPALA — July 14, 2003 2:04 am

Well the latest iteration (11th edition) of Merriam-Webster’s dictionary was released last week. Though I am almost finished reading it, I can tell you so far that this book really kicks some serious ass!

Let me show you some examples of what I am talking about…Here are some of this year’s NEW words. No, I am not making these up:

Dead presidents noun plural (1944) slang : U.S. money in the form of bills; specifically : DOLLARS
Brewski noun [2brew + -ski, suffix in Slavic surnames] (1978) slang : BEER