(Virus and
spyware safe, we promise) What you need:
1. Downloading Software, i.e. Azureus(free)
2. Dual Layer DVD writer in your PC
3. Dual Layer DVDr, i.e. Verbatim brand
------
Procedure:
1. Install Azureus and open
2. Download torrent (right-click,
Save...as) 3. Open .torrent file in Azureus
4. Follow prompts and wait for completion
5. Open folder: 'VanPala-Heavy Metal...'
6. Locate Readme.txt and follow instructions
- OR -
DVD Description:
Scott VanPala is
back and crazier
than ever with
the most
explosive
automotive Mardi
Gras you're ever
likely to see.
(and you
definitely
should,
especially since
he's giving it
away for
FREE
)
Synopsis:
There is a
select group of
motor vehicles
with the worst
fuel economy on
the planet. My
job is to take
16 of these
brilliant
behemoths and
drive like hell.
But only to
find out which
one is the best.
So I get
sideways in the
Cadillac
Escalade,
put the Hummer H2
into full bore
spins, and have
my spine snapped
by the Infiniti FX45.
I even hand some
over to The
Gimp who is
back as well for
another guest
appearance.
From there I
spank the map in
the Best SUV the
world has ever
seen, from
Las Vegas
to Texas
to Detroit to
New York,
leaving bone dry
Exxon stations
and piles of
speeding tickets
in my tracks.
There are losers
too though.
Midway I take a
break to seek
out and destroy
the most
aesthetically
challenged and
dreadfully
appalling
abominations.
I kill the
iconic
Isuzu Rodeo
by merging
it on a cellular
level with a
tree.
The hapless
Ford
Bronco II
goes head to
head with
the
receiving
end of my
AK-47 - and
loses.
And yes, it
is a real
gun.
And real
bullets.
And that's not
all, I've also
brought along a
few practical
jokes in the
forms of the
Chevrolet
Tahoe,
the Ford
Explorer,
the Jeep
Grand Cherokee,
and the
Mercedes M-Class.
There’s plenty
of epic driving
to be had as
well. The
Porsche Cayenne
Turbo S
topping 168mph,
the Range
Rover Sport
under 4 feet of
lake, rock
smashing with
the military Humvee, and
an economical
Honda Civic
being ‘drawn’ to
its death by the
V8 powered Ford F-150.
Enjoy -
Scott VanPala
Buy immediately online:
(just pay $10 for
the disc, box, label,
replication, packaging, printing, Paypal fee, and postage)
When Scott VanPala is let loose on the
automotive world to find
the best and worst SUVS ever made, the
results are shocking.
Quotes
on the Porsche
Cayenne Turbo
"...no more had I thought the
climate controls were
excessively complex than I
discovered that 67 and a half
degrees from the neck up and 72
and a quarter degrees from the
crotch down was exactly how I
wanted it!"
on the Hummer
H1
"...it was used to oppress
innocent third world victims of
American Imperialism like the
Taliban and Saddam Hussein."
on the Range Rover
"If I may be permitted to use
the Olympics as a barometer, it
becomes quite obvious that the
British lack any sort of
athletic prowess."
on the Range Rover
Sport
"...the prodigious body roll and
monumental understeer coupled to
a stability system that cannot
be disabled, make it about as
sporty as Michael Moore; and
just as appealing."
on the Hummer H2
"If you're not a black rapper or
the sort of person who needs to
stand really close to urinals,
then you're much better off with
something smaller, faster, and
nimbler than a glacier."
on the
Mercedes M-Class
"...it will fall apart faster
than a Daewoo Matiz, a Kia Rio,
or even Nick and Jessica's
Marriage."
on the Isuzu Rodeo
[So boring, there were no
quotes]
on the
Ford F-150
"...[it
has] a severe lack of weight in
the back. The rear end is
effectively an illegal
immigrant. So everytime
you go around a corner, it comes
up front, wanting to mow your
lawn."
on the Cadillac
Escalade
"It's almost as if the engineers
were in a contest to design a
car using the least amount of
screws possible."
on the
Ford Explorer
"It sells in its millions to
people who want a rugged,
versatile, off-roader that
will look good in their gated
community."
on the Infiniti
FX45
"...is hopelessly retarded
because it can't go offroad."
on the
Chevrolet Silverado
"...the new Silverado, which is
based on the old Silverado,
which in turn is based on a
Wooley Mammoth."
on the Chevrolet
Tahoe
"It has
a steering wheel... it just
doesn't work."
on the
Chevrolet Silverado
"...the new Silverado, which is
based on the old Silverado,
which in turn is based on a
Wooley Mammoth."
on the
Ford Bronco II
"Thankfully most Bronco II's did
the decent thing and
disintegrated before they left
the dealership."
